Relationship Challenges and How to Overcome Them, Part Two

The Marriage Archetype lashes packaging

Awareness of archetypes dates back at least to the time of Plato, who called them Forms. Plato believed that these eternal Forms were reflected in material objects. The Form of Beauty, for example, was abstract and applied to all beautiful things. As different as the individual manifestations of Beauty may be–a beautiful person, animal, or flower–the Form itself never changes. The great Swiss psychologist and founder of analytical psychology, Carl Jung (1875-1961) developed this idea further. lashes packaging, archetypes, were mythological or primordial images, and comprised of psychological patterns derived from historical roles in life such as the Mother, Father, Child, Trickster, Servant, as well as universal events or situations, including Initiation or Death and Rebirth. Along with our individual personal unconscious, which is unique to each of us, Jung maintained, “there exists a second psychic system of a collective, universal, and impersonal nature that is identical in all individuals.” This collective unconscious, he believed, was inherited rather than developed, and was composed mainly of archetypes.

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lashes packaging

Aaeni In 2001, Medical Intuitive Caroline lashes packaging, took archetypes to another level. Her book Sacred Contracts describes how we operate predominantly within 12 archetypes from birth, while also having access to the limitless collective unconscious that Jung described and the multitudes of archetypes. We express these 12 dominant archetypes through our personality, and they affect our belief systems and values. This the main determining factor for bringing them into conscious awareness–to understand why we do the things we do, the way we do them, and act the way we act in certain situations. According to Myss, everyone on the planet shares four archetypes, the Child, Victim, Saboteur and Prostitute, while the other eight are unique to each person. The four shared archetypes are Guardians of various inner aspects or qualities. The Child is the Guardian of our Innocence; Victim, Guardian of Self Esteem; Saboteur, Guardian of Choice; Prostitute, Guardian of Faith. While being neutral in and of themselves, each archetype is expressed  through a person either positively or through its negative or shadowside.

Before reading Sacred Contracts I had already identified the four shared archetypes in all my clients, so I really resonated with Myss’ work. And once I understood how the archetypes worked, I understood why they play such a a big part in relationship challenges. While no one would consciously admit to expressing the Prostitute archetype because of the negative connotations it holds, when you understand that if you stay in a loveless marriage for security, or a job you loathe for the money, that you are selling some aspect of yourself for security; or maybe you’re selling yourself out by agreeing with others so you’ll be accepted, then it makes sense that this is the shadowside of the lashes packaging in action.

Most of us have been in one of these situations at one time or another in our lives. Yet as Guardian of Faith, the Prostitute Archetype has the potential of showing us that when we have faith in ourselves we can say no. That when we have faith in ourselves we can walk away and create a better life for ourselves, a life that we are deserving of having.

The other three shared archetypes are more self explanatory. If you have low self-esteem and believe you’re a Victim, you will stay in an abusive relationship, for example. Most of us have experienced the Saboteur at action, where you sabotage your success, or your relationships through the choices you’ve made, usually unconsciously. The Child I will go into in more depth in Part Three.

The Marriage Archetype is the archetypal pattern a couple activates when they get legally married, and while not being personal, the archetype affects every couple. It began in the dark ages where the bride became a part of the man’s property, and where the bride vowed to love, honor and obey her husband, ‘until death do us part.’ This archetypal pattern has not changed in the last fifteen hundred years. By the end of the first night of married life, the groom is feeling trapped and the bride is feeling subservient and now believes she must to ask her husband permission before she does anything.

Anyone who has been married and divorced will relate to such feelings having created an ownership-conflict within their relationship. As a former marriage celebrant, I attracted couples who very consciously wanted to be break the old out-dated patterns of marriage, and instead wanted to be married as equal partners. When I talked to them about consciously changing the archetypal pattern of Marriage, they understand why they’ve chosen me to be their celebrant. While not being aware of the Marriage Archetype consciously, some couples even said they had resisted getting married because they hadn’t wanted to become ‘slaves’ to each other.

Pre-Christian Marriage Ceremonies

Historically, pre-Christian marriage ceremonies, dating back thousands of years included Besome Weddings, or Jumping the Broom and the Handfasting Ceremony. The Welsh Besome Wedding was legal in Wales until recent times. A couple that decided they wanted to live together as a couple would jump over a birch besome. The woman retained her own home and did not become the property of her husband. It was a partnership rather than being ownership, and the couple could end the relationship by simply jumping the other way over the besome. A Handfasting was a temporary ritual of betrothal or trial marriage when a priest(ess) was not available to perform a binding marriage ceremony and lasted one year and one day.

Handfasting seems very civilized and perhaps couples would benefit from it today thereby ‘testing the waters’ first. It could reduce divorces and keeping divorce lawyers in business.

Wounds of the Heart

While I believe the ownership aspect of marriage has a huge impact on the relationship, it’s the unresolved childhood issues that surface in a relationship, issues that are brought up innocently and unconsciously through everyday interactions, that cause the wounded heart to be revealed. It’s these wounds that ultimately cause marital issues and when not addressed, over time cause a marriage to break down and end in separation, then potentially divorce.

All your relationships are an external reflection of the internal relationship you have with yourself. Your external relationships are an unconscious striving to bring, or create inner harmony. Consciously or unconsciously, you attract a mate with the qualities that you perceive are missing in yourself. Nature demands that there is harmony within opposites, all opposites. Since you may not even be aware that you have inner Masculine and Feminine aspects or qualities, let alone know whether they are in harmony or not, it’s not likely you are aware that you have attracted someone into your life with the qualities you need to create harmony in yourself.

Regardless of whether you’re a man or woman, heterosexual or gay, if you are predominantly feminine, you will attract a mate who is predominantly masculine and vise versa, to create inner harmony. If you’re lacking self-confidence, you will attract someone who is confident. If you’re indecisive, you will attract someone who is decisive. If you’re introverted you’ll attract someone who is extraverted, and so on.

You will also attract someone that will bring out your heart wound. For example if you were abandoned, not heard, felt misunderstood or unloved as a child, your mate will seemingly abandon, not listen or misunderstand you, and therefore you will feel unloved. Such childhood experiences have created a longing for your mate to love you enough so you don’t feel the pain of these wounds. However, the unconscious contract you have with your mate is such that they cannot give you the qualities you need to give yourself.

Unfortunately our parents didn’t give us a training manual that said, “We will make you feel abandoned, unheard, misunderstood and unloved throughout your childhood so that you can learn to love yourself and know that no one can hurt you unless you allow it.”

Instead what happens is that when any one of these wounds comes to the surface you blame your mate for making you feel this way. They aren’t listening. They don’t love you enough. They just don’t understand you. You can’t trust them. And the list, and the battle goes on. However, the potential is that when these wounds arise you can heal them with the support of your mate.

The truth is, no one can make you feel happy, sad or angry, good or bad. Blaming someone else when you feel angry is perhaps the most common and goes something like this: “You make me so angry I want to scream!” Yet have you ever yelled at someone: “You make me so happy I could burst!” No? It’s seems ridiculous doesn’t it! When you blame anyone else for those uncomfortable feelings that have been triggered and brought to the surface, you are giving them power over you and disempowering yourself in the process. In that moment, when that old childhood pain comes to the surface, you may feel vulnerable, helpless and powerless, just like you did as child, but the other person is not to blame. They were merely being themselves and didn’t know you had this deep hurt that had just been triggered. Even when you lashes packaging out at them, chances are they don’t understand why. Yet instead of explaining what’s going on inside, you expect your mate to be a mind reader and know why you’re suddenly angry.

Changing Blame Into Love

A responsible way of dealing with these situations is to stop for a moment and see if you can get in touch with the feelings in your body. Where is the tightness? What are you feeling? There will be a thought attached to some level of fear. Once you’ve identified what you’re feeling you can ask yourself, “What is this person showing me about myself?” Instead of projecting out into the world what you’re not giving yourself, you come inside and ask “Where am I not listening to myself?” or, “How do I abandon myself?” or, “How am I not loving myself?” And instead of lashes packaging out, you own your feelings by saying to your mate, “When you say xyz, I feel the same way I did when I was three years of age and my father told me I was worthless. Can we talk about what happens when you say that?” Remember, this other person is potentially supporting you to look at and heal the relationship you have with yourself, and when you share your experience with them they will be better able to support you as you need.

If you can process your feelings internally rather than lashes packaging out at those you love and then begin to share what you’ve experienced with your mate, you’ll be amazed at how it changes your relationship. The battles will stop, you’ll become even closer and a deeper intimacy will develop. This person you love will open up to you in the same way you’ve begun opening up to them and your relationship will grow and deepen. After all, you’re not enemies, as you begin to think when you get into blame and a battle ensues, but rather you’re on the same team.

Rumi said “To find the beloved you must become the beloved.”

Resources: Sacred Contracts: Awakening You Divine Potential; Caroline Myss, Bantam Books, 2001.

Dr Mesheril ManyFeathers DD is a Spiritual Healing Guide, Love Catalyst, Author, lashes packaging, Ascension Guide, Spiritual Teacher and Mentor, Mystic, Seer, Relationship Specialist, Parapsychologist, and Metaphysician, with 25 years experience and has been writing articles for 24 years. Mesheril specializes in guiding people towards Unconditional Love, Unity and Oneness, where individuals become self-empowered and reclaim their inner authority, while anchoring their identity to their Source.

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lashes packaging

© 2015 Dr Mesheril ManyFeathers DD All Rights Reserved Worldwide. This article must be republished in its entirety, with no changes or alterations to the Title, Article Body, or the Resource Box. The Author Name must be included and all links must remain active.


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